Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Dream come true

Remember my post few days ago about changed experience? 

Alhamdulillah, tsumma alhamdulillah. 

I am glad enough that I was given the chance to travel to Johor and made my experience counted and see if they did change me. 

The journey to Johor was embarked with an intention of learning and experiencing new things. Looking for more views of the world, and see if I could discover something refreshing.

But the first and foremost intention of the travel was for me to change myself and my view of the world. See if I acquired new understandings of how things work and happened in life. I wanted to go to johor and came back as a different person. A different better person. 

*for the record, InshaAllah I will re-write the stories about my journey in different posts. Some I will copy from the previous post.

First, I am more than happy to admit that this journey is a prove of me breaking free from my caccoon of lonesomeness and comfortness. 

I used to hate travelling because of its uneasiness and uncomfortable existance. 
But my love to see the world's nature and beauty is far greater than this hatred. I long to be with nature, and to be with nature and its beauty is to travel away from the comfortness of your home. 

There and back again - I love this tittle of the Hobbit's sequel, reminds me of the days I travelled in New Zealand. 

And the very reason why I am what I am now. The travel to New Zealand changed me. From a person who shuts herself from the world, to a person who now eager to face and embrace the world out there. 

Just that, I have to make sure all my future journeys have clear and rightful intention. 

Why do I want to see the world??
Because I want to be a better person, better servant of Allah. I want to be the one who when she sees the world, understand her Creator better and grows fonder of the Creator. Willing to die for God, willing to do anything, subservient to His commands. 

Of reminiscing the Queenstown 2010 and Queenstown 2.0 '12. The Millford Sound, the coloured layers across the mountains, the amazing geothermal walk, rotten-egg-like smell of rotorua, stunned by the emerald waters of Huka Fall. The rocky mountains of south island and just the fields of sheeps.

Having seen these marvels of His work on nature, that I really really hope it changes me in the heart, becoming more humbled than ever towards my Creator.

How I wish that whatever came forth of the eyes were engraved in the heart as the ultimate truth that will shield me from committing sins and acts of disobedience. 

With the list about my encounters and my past, I feel related to the hobbit's adventure. The same liking of homey comfort turned into a crave for more exciting experience of the world while helping the needs along the way. 
I come into terms with Martin Freeman's Bilbo Baggins. 

I become interested in the journey, not just the destination anymore. We lost a lot of time travelling from one place to another. Yet if we do not make sense, use or appreciate the journey, we are gonna be double time losers.

The tarbiyah journey, of Palmerston North, to and fro had taught me many valuable gems. 

This is what jaulah did to me. Jaulah, a part of wasilah tarbiyah. 

Friday, November 15, 2013


Everyone has voice.

Freedom of choice.

Even God give us freedom of choice - to follow Him, or to disagree with Him.
But you could be an ignorant person, like you choose to disobey with your boss. Don't you realize you work for him?
Ok, nevertheless, giving this example is nowhere near the truth. How can I compare thee to a summer ...
(It's weird how people admire art piece of human,Sonnet 18, but never appreciate the art written by God himself. )

Ah, I want to rant everything in this single post. Been thinking about several things already.

Daie, you need voice You need to speak up. There many things already, but have you tried being one?
For I am many? What was that all about?

The world is created with many things. For our own convenient. Like when you are baking. There are eggs, flour,chocolate powder, butter, yeast and whatnot. You just have to choose on your own what you are going to do with that. It's gonna be a big mistake if you take those items into a car workshop. Hey, you are doing all wrong.

It's true, I am many.
For the prophet is the most gentle and loving with the believers.
But when it comes to the enemy and the non-believers, he is the most strongest and bravest person ever.

Problem arise when people confuse substance with method.
The substance is peace, but method could be anything to attain peace.

When things are not in their supposed places, spell the situation then,  with INJUSTICE.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Written by the same hand

Our life stories...
The world's history...

Dalam muqaddimah fi zilal, Sayyid Qutb  mencakna bahawa Al-Quran memberi 3hakikat kehidupan. 

Salah satu hakikat itu adalah hakikat alam itu berseiringan dengan manusia. 

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Influence from the character

For I have so many things to say.

I have just read one of the stories in the book posted below.
It says how a person could behave like the character in the book he read. The person behave  for a month thinking that he's the character.
Oh well, I did it once or twice not long ago.
When I read the stories that are similar to mine, I would tend to imitate the characters' behavior. Adopting his way of viewing things around him. Even though in real world, they are different from mine.

Is not it amazing?
How people can imitate what they read?

Kalau macam tu, kan sangat bagus kalau ada buku yang tulis pasal character nabi or someone imitating Nabi, and people could follow and imitate it all along.

Macam aku ni, I know I have temper. But since I went through tarbiyah, my anger my temper starts slowing down. dah kurang sikit marah-marah. tapi ni dah lama tak pergi usrah, aku asyik nak marah-marah saja.

I even read the book VT, about this one character, Asyraf who got temper. I feel my life's just like him. I true enough, sometime later I adapted how this character view life. I got calmed down a bit.

Daie, menulis lah.

Dunia penulisan cereka is short of you.
When this kind of writing that touches the hearts of many.

The world of reading

"To engage in private, and to exchange in public"

This is how a fikrah book should be read. 

Spread the fikrah. Embrace the thought with action.

The world will come out in peace. 

Friday, November 8, 2013


Entah, merasakan penulisan menggunakan ejaan penuh melambangkan peribadi seseorang.

Dulu selesa menggunakan singkatan.
Tapi sekarang serasa macam tak tenang melihat perkatan-perkatan yang tidak penuh.
Kadang-kadang rasa sukar nak membaca apatah lagi memahami.

Kini lebih mahu dan gemar guna ejaan penuh.

Sudah tua mungkin? =P

Monday, November 4, 2013

After years

After years, now only i really jump into the real world. I was the people i met before.
I remembered the years when i cared for nobody. I dont want to be friend with anyone, even though they offered me the friendship. Because i dont want my heart to ache. 

-to be continued-

Of more

I'm goinh to write more. Write soothes the mind. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

A shield

Alhamdulillah, today Allah blessed me with two things in terms of menahan diri dari perkara yang memalukan. 

1. A male friend of mine offered to take my bags home with him as we live quite near among the warden's house. Even before that, he offered to give me a ride to the dining hall for lunch. If not i would be walking a 5minute-distance. Alhamdulilah, Allah give me some courage n guide to turn down the offer. Thank you btw friend. Lebih rela aku jalan kaki 5 minit dari naik kereta berdua 2-3 minit semata-mata nak senang utk makan. 5 minit yg Allah redha lebih bermkna, dri 2-3 minit yg syubhah. Thank you Allah for protecting me from doing shameless thing. 

2. After taking my lunch at the counter, i was searching for a seat. Usually teachers/wardens would sit at this one  special table for them, together. Well, the table have five seaters and 4 were already occupied with male teachers and an ustaz.  I was so embarrased to sit with them, so i decided to eat at the students' table quite faraway from them. Even my friend shouted, " weyh munal, apahal kau makan jauh sngt ? " i just smiled back. Huhu. Even till now i was so glad i didnt join them at the table. If ever i did it, i would think it as, 4 org laki n stu perempuan share stu meja bulat yg agak kecik? N rapat2 jugak tu? Huuu segan sungguh cmtu. Well, actually i did join a mixed group before, but there were only 3 male teachers and 2 female teachers including me. So i thought that was still ok, back then. I would think it as quite improper by now. Huhu. Terpaksa yg rtu. Wuuu..

 Ya Allah, thank you for saving me.
I asked You to grant me taqwa, so that i can shield myself from getting Your anger. And You guide my heart to do what was the most honourable thing. 

Alhamdulillah. All praise be to Allah. 


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

bukan masanya lagi

Bersabarlah sedikit lagi.

kau belum cukup kuat untuk menzahirkan keislaman mu.

jika kau zahirkan sekarang, kau hanya akan merosakkan dakwah ini.

bina diri mu dahulu, bina iman mu dahulu, hiasi akhlak mu dahulu.

bila manusia telah melihat buktinya dan tertanya-tanya,

itulah masa nya kau umum kan pada dunia siapa diri mu.

tapi, sehingga tiba nya saat itu,


Sunday, August 25, 2013


Perjalanan yg menggoncang iman di jiwa

Dalam perjalanan dengar surah ahzab 
"زلزل زلزالا شديدا"

- hati mereka digoncanf dengan goncangan yg kuat-

My way for tarbiyah was accompanied with few shakes..tergoncang dengan ketakutan. 

The first shake- at the station bus
Ada dua hamba Allah yang Allah uji mereka dengan aqal. Allah ambil semula kebolehan mereka 
- fisrt takut, sbb rasa x slmat, they can do us anything but not get accountable for it. 
- second rsa kesian, because they looked abondoned, and people were smirking at them. Where are the families? The children? 
- stu nikmat trtbesar yg Allah trik.  It made me think, i got this aqal Allah gavr me, so i should use it at its best. Kdg kite terlupa, dgn nikmat aqal ni lah kita boleh bezakan yg baik dgn yg buruk. Tpi kita x nk guna aqal ni sebaiknya sbb walaupun kita tahu bnda tu x elok, kita still buat jugak. So imagine if Allah takes it back? What will we become? 

Second shake - sbb takut atas bus tu, ape2 jadi, sikit org ja atas bus. Bhaya, risau , semua ada. One thought came to me" if i was scared enough, i wont go  to ipoh alone anymore". But i still want this tarbiyah. So i'll find other ways to get the tarbiyah. If not possible, i'll have to bear it, and Put my hope to Allah, to protect me all the way. Tawakkaltu alallah.  After i hve put all human effort together.

Third shake-  well the condition of the bus. It was way beyond the comfort. What a woman wants on thr weekend, travelling alone on a bus like this? Grumpy and bumpy all the time. The bus looks like it has another 1 year to live due to leuchemia. 

What a journey. I made a promis, to tarbiyaj myself out of my comfort zone. So this is me trying to reach Allah's mercy outside my comfort zone. 

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Daie guru

Apa beza daie guru dengan guru daie?

Daie guru- kerja utama mengajak org kepada Allah tpi berjawatan guru dalam masyarakat

Guru daie- kerja utama mengajar org, and sometimes mengajak org kepada Allah. 

Nampak ada beza?